


The Agony of Thoughts

by SeaRoslinFalcon



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Cannon, F/M, Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeaRoslinFalcon/pseuds/SeaRoslinFalcon
Summary: That’s what love is...
Relationships: William Adama/Laura Roslin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	The Agony of Thoughts

Love and Bullets. That's what Bill felt everyday now. The dual ache in his chest was ever present. And he couldn't tell which pain was worse. 

The hot lead was now excised from his chest. Muscles and bones were rebuilding and filling in the damage, one painful osteoblast and sarcomere at a time. Some days he could almost forget, until he moved or stretched his body in any number of mundane activities of daily living. Then the pain would sear and shoot through him like the bullets wounds were fresh. Only now he didn't have shock or sedation to absorb some of the burden.

The other pain was just as disruptive.

He didn't quite realize what it until he gave it words. "That's what love is... Thoughts." Immediately following that piece of sage wisdom, a clear image came to him. It was The President. Laura. And now he knew for certain that he was in trouble. She was in his thoughts. And not just at that particular moment. She was always there. Not because she was a pain in his ass. Not because she was a fugitive on the run with his son. She was in his thoughts because he wanted her there. Because he liked her there. Because he loved her. 

Just the *thought* of being in love with that woman made him miserable. Love itself was tricky for Bill. He truly loved all of his crew. He was comfortable with that. But the intimacy of love: falling for a woman and putting his heart in the trust of another? That had come to bite him in the ass many times over. The agony of romantic love was something that he could not afford now. But he couldn't talk himself out of it. She was there, occupying his mind with all kinds of images and emotions that he could not control.

Cottle had let Bill know that he was to remain abstinent for at least a month after he left sickbay. If Cottle was teasing him, he didn't find it funny. Bill hadn't had sex in ages. And even if he was cleared for launch by the Doc, about a million other obstacles were standing in his way of having Laura in his rack.

Of course all Bill's mind wanted to do while recovering from surgery was ponder the enigma of Laura Roslin. His dreams were haunted by her presence. Laura the President, Laura the Prophet, Laura the Fugitive...they all became Laura the Sex Goddess. Nursing him back to health, offering her hand and her mouth and her body to pleasure him, that's who she was in Bill's dreams.

He'd wake up to an empty rack, chest aching from love and bullets. Remembering that he was truly without her was agony. 

That Laura could never know, was the worst pain of all. 

***

Laura's breasts were ruining her life twofold.

The first disturbance was of course, the cancer. Her left breast, directly above her heart, made it's presence known every frakking second of every day. She never had such an awareness of a part of her body before. It ached and throbbed and seared with unpredictable, sharp pain. It got so unbearable that she fantasized about clawing the tumor out herself.

The other annoyance her breasts were causing was far more embarrassing. Every time she thought about or found herself face to face with a certain military commander, her breasts announced themselves. At his voice, her nipples hardened, at the sight of him, her skin would tingle. It was a nuisance! How could they betray her like this? She was an intelligent, mature woman; President of the frakking universe... And yet the presence of one man reduced her body to that of a teenager. 

She would cop to the fact that she preferred the pleasant attraction that her breasts exhibited at the sight and sound and smell of William Adama over the cancerous pain. But not out loud. And certainly not now.

She was separated from Bill, sick with worry about him after being shot. To make everything worse she was stuck in cold storage with Tom Zarek of all people. The smarmy terrorist made it clear that he was willing to service Laura's needs- but she and her breasts did not feel a thing. She wished she was trapped with Bill instead. One awfully lonely night she considered closing her eyes and pretending that Tom or even Lee was Bill. That was the night she thought she was going crazy for sure. 

Rather than use one of the men hiding with her, she decided to take a more covert approach to quelling her needs. She lay quietly and imagined Bill- healthy and strong, kissing her neck and thrusting inside of her. Her breasts felt bare without his hands on them. Her cold hands were not a worthy substitute. But she began building a rhythm anyway as her mind conjured scenarios of her and Bill together. How she longed to feel his weight upon her, hear his husky voice whisper to her. Her nipples could cut glass between the cold ship and her hot fantasy and they demanded her touch. When she grazed her fingers over them, the pain mixed with her pleasure and she came undone, tears freezing down her cheeks as she did.

The images of Bill Adama were nothing like the last time she saw him. For all she knew, Bill was still intubated and comatose. Her chance of knowing him as a lover may be lost forever. That thought alone devastated Laura. And rather than feel that loss, she squeezed her left breast as hard as she could; and passed out from the pain.

When she woke back up, she prayed to the Gods that her imaginary lover's son - who was laying a few yards away- would never know this kind of despair.


End file.
